Monday, December 6, 2010

How to kick over a shovel...


I saw this posted over at the JJ, and bout spit my rum and coke out all over the monitor. I hope you dig it as much as I did.

First go to the bike and say 14 prayers that the damn thing will start.

Check oil to be sure it didn't all leak out.

Check transmission to make sure it didn't all leak out.

Turn on the lights for a second to make sure the battery aint dead.

Turn on the choke.

Kick the bike over between 3 & 7 times (depending on the temp.) with the switch off to get it primed.

Spin it through until you get the front cylinder compression stroke.

Turn the switch on.

Kick.

Repeat until you have to take a break to catch your breath, and roll the bike back into the shop because it backs up about 4 inches with every kick.

Look thoughtful.

Guess that you have it flooded.

Turn off the choke.

Hold the throttle WFO, Kick.

Repeat until you have to take a break to catch your breath, and roll the bike back into the shop.

Cuss.

Have a beer while pondering the situation.

Decide to check the tank to make sure it has gas in it.

Kick some more.

Cuss.

Get mad.

Have another beer.

Kick until you have gone off the driveway, and halfway across the yard backwards.

Cuss.

Wipe the sweat out of your eyes.

Have another beer.

Check the points.

Look in the gas tank one more time.

Turn on the choke.

Hold the throttle WFO, kick until the neighbors have taken all the kids inside to shield them from the cussing.

Ponder the situation.

Have another beer.

Swear that you are going to sell it to the first person who comes along & offers you 10 bucks for it.

Check the plugs.

Have another beer.

Notice that you haven't turned the gas on.

Cuss.

Turn gas on.

Turn choke on.

Prime engine.

Threaten motorcycle.

KICK !!

Pick yourself up from the ground in front of motorcycle.

Put out the fire in the air cleaner.

Remember to retard the timing this go-around.

Turn on the ignition.

Kick.

Motorcycle starts.

Have another beer while it warms up.

Decide that you would rather watch WWE reruns on TV.

Turn off engine.

Take car to get more beer.

2 comments:

Fast Eddie said...

That's some funny ass shit! Laughing my ass off in Dallas.

Anonymous said...

Next week, how to start an ironhead----please refer to earlier post on starting a shovel.........classic shit john